R.I.P. English

An arrogant Englishman once said to an Indian, “We ruled and killed your people for more than 100 years.”

The Indian was infuriated watching his tone yet maintained his composure and said something that made him aghast, “It was just 100 years but we killed your language, killing it now and will continue to do it forever.”

Last night, I received this message in Whatsapp. A few might have received it sometime back through SMS as well. It’s an old joke! But the content is still fresh. Yes, there are some heroic guys who brutally murder English like never before. Luckily, I have a handful of experiences. I term it a blissful experience.

p.c. click here

Going back to my college days, I would like to recall those golden memories with my beloved PT sir, Physical Educator as he wants to be addressed. He is a professional Kabaddi player and a wonderful instructor. Besides being a cool coach, his English makes him stand apart from the crowd.

I still remember that day when he came rushing towards us in the ground and screamed, “T-sunami coming, you all go home.” Instead of the silent ‘T’ he pronounced the word literally, which kept us amused for the rest of the day.

When my name appeared on the list of athletes participating in the 110 metre hurdles, I went and thanked him for which he replied, “Welcome you.” And for the opposite he says, “TANcube!” Yes, you heard me right.

This one is classic. I was always late for the morning training. One day, he caught me and shouted, “Why coming late daily? Say yes or no?” I spent the whole day figuring out the answer for this question but could not do it. Even now, I do not know how or what to answer to this question. Can anyone help me on this?

My present employer is even better as there are many heroes. But there is one guy who I admire the most. Here are a few instances,

With a gentle smile he calls you for a tea, “I go tea drinking, you coming?”

With an intent look, he manages accounts, “You giving last minute request and asking. money no!” He generally hates a last minute request. He maintains his stand even with outsiders. To quote an example, one day an outsider came to purchase books in large numbers. Obviously, it is a good thing but he wanted it to be delivered at once. Unfortunately, our hero was left alone at office without any helpers so it is practically impossible to deliver 500 different books in an hour. He lost his temper and started blasting the outsider, “You are speaking, I am not happy. I already handicapped. Delivery not possible in one hour. Thank you!”

The outsider left the place immediately rubbing his head. He would not have understood a single word, I guess. Did you?

What is more exciting about these guys are, they speak effortlessly without even caring about the mistakes, which must be appreciated. And remember, never make fun of someone who speaks broken English; it means they know another language.